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Chunker Blitzkrieg

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i'm just an outlaw scumfuc playing my rock n roll [10 Sep 2006|12:56pm]
god gg, if i didn't think i wasn't gay anymore, i'd be sticking my dick up your dead ass
ohhhh baby

so, how's it been snapping?

remember that one bitch, marla, ok "she understaaaaaands me". whatever. she can suck a baby's dick. she set a homeless man on fire and let him loose in my house. what the fuck? bradley, you're out of my life, marla, you're out of my life. get the fuck out.

mmmm soft alcohol. no good.


"you must have discovered crystal meth"
get the fuck out.

yo, look, it's pretty obvious i don't know any of you people, and it's pretty obvious none of you like me
what are you doing here?
get the fuck out.

i don't know where i'm goin'
i still love you. i promise. i still love everyone and i still don't get chicks and i still hate the white devil and i still think missile belts are the hottest shit in the world and i still want to push a pregnant woman down the stairs.
"jettt i'm havin' yo baaaaby"

i've been thinking about myself lately
i think i'm a pretty cool guy, i guess
i think i made some good choices, you know
gave up those dick suckers with devillocks, those crazy chicks in red sweaters

sorry if i'm not the same guy you always knew, but i definitely still kick ass.

never had nothing that could keep my satisfied
'cept my booze and my drugs and that woman by my side
she was no woman but she's good enough for me
she's got that cunt and spread her legs and that's all i need

am i really that gay?

this is my mind being blown

this is me kicking butt as usual

and this is clearly me doing a calvin klein ad

you won't be laughing!
[ 4 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

[04 Aug 2006|01:38pm]
i was resurrected
i hope while i was dead you masturbated over my corpse and came all over my face
i blew my brains out
so did you
blow my brains out

so what's been going down?

i promise, i've changed. i got real drunk, bradley went back to hell and just fucked the fuck off somewhere
things were going great. then he shaved his head.
the rest of my life? i have this fucking hole
been living off the charred remains of homeless men people light on fire and set loose in homes
had no home, been drinking too much (did i tell you i quit drinking? sorry, i fucking lied)
hey babes, it's ok

i'm looking for a woman
i'm sick of being gay and homeless
living out of someone's brain


i made friends with this russian. we have a lot in common.

Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

[03 Feb 2006|02:43pm]
nobody knows what i look like
until now
fuck me.

my titties are hot.
[ 2 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

[16 Oct 2005|08:29pm]
i keep forgetting my middle name. does anyone remember what it is?
Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

[16 Oct 2005|08:09pm]
[ mood | chipper ]


after losing my job and moving to tha east side of town, i now listen only to oldskool. my skin color has turned black as well. if you don't believe me you CAN SUCK MY COCK, BITCH.

to celebrate, i shot some white people and fought the power.
god i am full of piss, literally!

i drew this really good picture! i wish i could show you but it broke.

quit pretending you know about things! "so this is this!" "so you mean it's like this?" "no, it's not like that". hahaha suck it! your brain is too wrong to know about anything. stop having interests.

next week i'm going to iraqistan to throw missiles at the heads of the finnish. those fucking fins. fishfins. chinese food. broccoli. pissssssss?


i think my friends should do something for me. somebody post a comment about something. and the next person who decides to post a comment, reply to something the last person said, and so on.

if you don't do that, you can suck my cock too.

[ 3 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

plez send nudez [01 Aug 2005|01:13am]
don't trip

i've been having a lot of sex and having a lot of fun and doing a lot of things that are legal and good for me.
i wonder if you still like me? maybe i don't post enough pictures of my tits for you? maybe...maybe?
i don't like some stuff.

wwwwwwwwwhaaaaaat? where's my stories? well i'll tell you where my stories are! i don't fucking have them anymore. when you do shit that you're supposed to do, when you're not getting jerked off by dirty fags in dirty rooms with dirty people your life makes a big turn-around. when you eat nothing but carrots, your skin starts to turn a slight green and kids notice, i thought i might mention that too.

ok yeah fuck it. bradley was over. lots of jerking me off in dirty rooms. he's such a dirty fag. i love it.

ok yeah people don't like this stuff. i graduated from art school, got a job in a very nice place with air conditioning and no trees. not that there would be trees around here or anything.

i've decided to start rapping. i'm good. i swear to god. fuck.
fuck, i lied again. don't read my entries because i keep making shit up.

right now i'm updating while sitting in d's room in boxers with flies and barf and shit. and there's a bunch of tough looking guys with afros looking me up. one of them is in a wheel chair. real tough. he's got a house on his shirt.

hey is there any girls fly honeys on my friends list? will you send me some naked pictures? maybe post them in reply to this entry? maybe just some teasers? i want to prove to these big guys i'm no homosexual. come on.

ok i guess you don't have to do that. i'm a real nice guy and i hate when girls exploit themselves over the internet like that. you guys are a bunch of sluts.



love you, so much,
jesus fucking...khrist.
Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

2 KEWT [02 Jan 2005|11:15pm]

[ 1 Earth explosion ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

chunker blitzkrieg [30 Dec 2004|11:55pm]
don't tell me i've lost it. i really haven't. but i'm not quite a guy right now.
punk rock sucks.

bradley is a good or bad guy. i couldn't date him. we wanted to grow old together making movies about bastard buildings that trip over wires and fall on airplanes, because no one makes movies like that. the buildings would consist of anorexic teen girls who cut themselves in the bathrooms at school and the planes would be full of helpless old wintergreens who need their medication.

i saw this keychain that had a baby on it and said "ask me about my medication"
what a laugh, i tell ya what.

either way, the buildings would be real fuckin tall.

and in my movie, i'd be a giant leprechaun (or maybe a leopard. or a leper) with boots as big as the buildings, and i think i might be the one to kick over the buildings to make them trip over wires. i'll be as big as the ocean twice. or doubled. or something to that effect. i wish i were a giant leprechaun that nobody dared to shoot missiles at. i'd steal all the missiles in the world and eat them, or wear them as a belt, because i'm a punk rocker.

faux genuine missile belts, on sale for $36.99 at hot topic.

leprechauns should all get missile belts. for free.
because they're fucking leprechauns.

bradley wants to be malicemcdarkness mcsatanheels from the underworld and have glowing red eyes. he wants to rise from the earth and spit fire and shit, and that's kinda lame. i used to have horns, i never showed bradley. i don't want it up the butt.

i don't want your bad poetry.



p.s. an old, lifelong friend died yesterday. may his soul find happy rest in a new body or a new world.
rest in peace, bingo.
[ 3 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

sick [10 Aug 2004|12:10am]
bradley, oh god bradley.
you are my friend, friend.
you give me blow job
i give you a sandwich from subway.
we run off into rainbow sunshine together
with barking dogs.
and puerto rican prostitutes.
we do each other hair.
and like it so much.
and then when you are asleep,
i put my large cock in your mouth.
and you wake up
and laugh.
oh so silly.
i bake muffins for you.
and you say
"jet, you so hot, i want ass now!"
and that is how the story end.

bradley is my new best friend, just so you all know.
i wanted to do this super cool entry in which i used pictures, but i don't know what to use pictures of.

i was going to look up "sexy" on google image search and give you a nice picture of what i thought marla and bradley were equivalent to, but all i found were pictures of dumb looking, half naked 18-year-old girls. oh! there's an old lady. i found a picture of some 40-something blonde lady with her 'ol saggy tits hanging out everywhere. it's really giving me a boner. oh. lesbians. i haven't seen that before. ok...ok...ENOUGH "SEXY" OLDER WOMEN, ALRIGHT?

my entries are all just good typing.

hey this is really milking my prostate. i will continue searching.
oh...oh! uhhh...OH MY...OH MY GOD SHE'S GETTING GOOZED! [said in a very high-pitched voice, you see]

yes! yes! i found something sexy!Collapse )

there you go, that picture is everything that is marla and bradley.

also, someone tell me how old this girl looks, seriously.

. this entry is done.

i'm sorry. sub par.

i hope my good poetry was...good.
[ 5 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

[19 Jul 2004|11:30am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

hey there home grease, wha's crackulatin'?

my life is obviously far too hectic and fast-paced to be updating this thing on this internet business now-a-days. actually that's not true. last night, i layed around at this guy's house named bradley. he wasn't a hippie at all. actually, i was starting to question it. this bradley guy who wore clothes that were way too tight on him. black clothes. and had a devillock. what a loser. yeah, his house was filled with incense. and me and ashley were laying on his bed looking at the ceiling because he draws pictures of naked fat guys in blood or red paint or something. totally.

i think he kept trying to give me a blowjob. not that i minded, but i would be like sitting there eating some...sprouts...and he'd be all over my nuts. like a dog. and then i'd think about marla and want to cry so i told ashley to kick me in the face. then i thought it was a bad idea because i knew ashley would tend to do things that were told of her, so she kicked me square in the forehead, right while this stick figure pseudo-deathrock asshole is messing with my pants.

fuckIN A.@@SRGFG

i don't like doing stuff anymore. it gives me migranes. and gonorrhea. i mean the clap.

oh maaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn...

so, did you hear, the soviet union has been reformed? and last night, they re-built the entire berlin wall.

no, i'm serious.
go watch the news you fucks.

ok i'm sorry for calling anyone on my friends list a "fuck". you know i love you.


oh yeah and they were trying to give me beer. and i said "nah dude, i don't drink beer, i only drink bad japanese soda". and then i realized what i was saying and went to the bathroom and shoved two fingers down my throat.
actually, i didn't do that. my gag reflex sucks anyway. but no, i really realized i don't drink beer anymore.

yeah, i remember that conversation i had with marla. she hates drunk people. she can love me. she really can love me. i want her box.


no more drinky for jet
i'll stick to the mountain dew.
or mountain lightning

yeah pirates of the carribean 2. omg j. depp.

GOODNIGHT SAILORS... i mean good morning.

your lover,
jet fucking fernando fucking knell fucking and a half

[ 9 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

eggi-wegs [19 Apr 2004|03:17pm]
[ mood | restless ]

how was everyone's easter? bad? bad.

i think i just might get around to deleting some of you fucks who keep making a shit out of me having you added. i just don't understand how insulted one can be by someone taking interest in them. especially when they don't have to add me back. i give up. there's a lot cooler people who could take your place.

yeah, i don't update very often because i'm too busy keeping up my imaginary journal. i have this really weird obsession with pretending to be a sixteen year old girl in wisconsin who doesn't really exist. call me insane, i bet you will.

sailboats and lighthouses are not good subjects for photography, i tell ya what kids.

so last night i was hanging out with marla. we walked around town and broke garbage. mostly me. imagine me, 6 feet and shrinking, with a fence post. NO! I'M STARTING TO SOUND LIKE HER! not marla, because she's fucking hot and awesome, but...her...that bitch who talks like she's really smart or somethin but nothing she says makes sense and she sounds like she's trying to be witty but she really isn't and her journal SUCKS ASS and AHHHHHHG. if i...wasn't spending so much time pretending to be a sixteen year old chick in wisconsin i'd kick her in the face with my steel-toe combat boots.

i guess this is why i don't get laid

back to marla. i can't believe she doesn't give me shit. she seems so...not the type of chick who walks around town and breaks things. she seems like the type of chick who would rather sit around and smoke pot and...plant a garden or something. or write bullshit (no offence) philosophy whilst listening to [insert deep and philosophical band here that isn't tool]. i remember jaine was like that for a month until she got a black eye. oh man, those were the days. when jaine and i would kick people in the face. and then we'd go out to the lake and walk on the water and these kids on ghetto bikes would be there going "shit man you're jesus" and i'd be like "damn right". right horrorshow.

i touched her thigh...yeah...i bet she...has ears.
MARLA...sex? please? maybe? yes?


you suck me sometimes,

[ 10 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

[02 Mar 2004|04:43pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

so kids how goes it?
yeah me too

so i decided i'm the mayor of goochland



i paint murals

so i had this conversation with this one guy the other day and it went a little something like this:

this one guy: hey you look like you need a buttfuckin
me: yeah, you're absolutely right
this one guy: so do you like wax fruit?
me: goddamnit, my anus is leaking
this one guy: i think you're going to have to work through that
me: hey are you homeless
this one guy: yeah except i'm not
me: i only like homeless people. if you're not homeless you suck
this one guy: i'm a squatter
me: really?
this one guy: no actually i live with my aunt and use her computer
this one guy: MINE TOO!

i wanna bang matt stone


[ 5 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

no motivation for a real post!!! [10 Jan 2004|11:50pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

my liver is leaking
it's those fuck damn crackers

i am a generic kid with a livejournal
i'm a sad little fat girl...i weigh 105 pounds and that's too much. plus my daddy won't let me go to see marilyn manson in concert because he says he worships the devil. stupid parents don't know anything. they're all a bunch of conformists. so i'm gonna go cut myself, then drip my blood from my bloody wrists into a deep, dark menacing well, so it fills up with my own blood. then i am going to hop throw myself into that deep, dark menacing well so i drown in darkness and blood and sorrow and bats (of the baseball variety) and other things of such nature.

that joke has been used far too much
far too...much
oh...oh oh oh. i forgot to talk about jello biafra. everyone should see the bikini bandits experience. it's the greatest thing ever. ever. in existence. except probably not.

BEER!...is bad for your health...sometimes. on saturdays. unfortunately, it's a saturday. i like saturday. unfortunately, today is sunday.

my back is itchy but i have an amputated arm. i wonder how people who have amputated arms (both of them, that is) scratch their back. maybe they're really talented and can use their toes. people think that people with amputated arms are disabled, but they can actually do a lot more shit than the average person can do! the same goes for people with amputated legs...any kind of amputees for that matter. next time you see an amputee, you should be jealous. i wish _i_ could have some missing limbs.

so maybe the subject line lied. maybe this is a real post. actually, originally, i was just going to put that bit on the top about "it's those fuck damn crackers". it was gonna end there. of course.

my nipples are erect. i'm very excited because it's tuesday.

ooooh. mars. keep those crackas off mars. and back in the yard. covered in mustard. and tape. electrical tape.

i don't like duct tape very much because it smells bad. i know a bunch of lame punk kids who stick it all over their stuff. something's broken that cannot be mended with safety pins? stick duct tape on it. my penis broke once and i tried to fix it with duct tape...oh lord, do these kids have brains? i wonder how many retard punk kids tried to duct tape their dicks back on their body when their penis breaks or falls off.

i still haven't gotten laid. how long has it been? i feel like a dog. or something to that effect. no...not a dog. i feel like a creature from the land of dissonance who hasn't gotten laid in quite some time. this amount of time will not be discussed. just the fact that i haven't gotten laid in a long time is all you need to know.

i'd also like to point out, for my own reference, that i need to learn to stop repeating things and saying unnecessary things. i like typing. typing is good for the mind, body, and soul.


well...i've run out of things to say...er...type. TYPE!


your lover...sometimes. on weekends,

[ 11 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

sexual intercourse is for losers who can't get girlfriends...just like final fantasy [30 Nov 2003|10:20pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

i am an attic martyr

i live in a giant bucket.

your lover,
-jfk- (JFGAY)

[ 6 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

[03 Oct 2003|11:07pm]
[ mood | cold ]

this is me, if anyone was wondering what i looked like. i'm sexy right? no seriously...please...say i'm sexy (or don't, you can always do that)

by the way, this is the first picture of me there is (the first ever drawn) check out those crappy drawing skills! so jesus is cool. i meant heysoos. bye.

if you want to see a picture of my twin sister, jaine, click hereCollapse )

[ 9 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

check out my imaginary friend's journal [28 Sep 2003|03:51pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

hey all i'm sorry i don't update much so i'm making it up to you by UPDATING A LOT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!


i'm so giddy today and i don't eaten know why
i can't type

fuck damn crackers

[ 1 Earth explosion ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

oh oh oh [28 Sep 2003|02:31pm]
i also like the don't sue people panda

ok that's all bye bye
Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

matt and trey WOOOOOOO [28 Sep 2003|02:28pm]
i'm also a fangirl(boy) of THESE GUYS!

Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

<3 <3 <3!!!1 [28 Sep 2003|02:25pm]

twehehehe. yes. twe. i am such teh J3110 fangirl!!!11 *makes out with and dances with life-size jello carboard cutout that i really don't have*

yeah...this reminds me of my backstreet boys days. i loved that nick guy. he was such a heartthrob! until he got rid of that bowl cut. yeah. then my celebrity crushness turned over to jello. yeah. no not really...

so who wants to throw naked barbie dolls at me now?

[ 2 Earth explosions ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

goddamnit. lame entry. you shouldn't even read it because it's so lame. [28 Sep 2003|02:11pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

well, since i came on to change my background i figured i should update as well.

sooo...how's everyone? good? good.

yeah so shit has been pretty boring lately. i mean literally, my shit...there's nothing interesting about it. i keep looking in the toilet hoping to see some chunks of corn or some bugs or something but all i see is nice clean poop. so boring.

i got really sick last night but i'm okay now.

so yeah, i have a new background. nothing special.

i wish i had something more interesting to say in this entry. it's so lame...i mean jeezy chreezy. oh yeah, speaking of which, i envy those who are going to see eddie izzard live *gasp gasp*

goddamn. poopstick. i don't know. bahhh...jaine? MARLA! i love marla still. i wonder if we're ever going to have sex...

goddamnit this entry is complete crap!


[ 1 Earth explosion ] [ Kiss a filthy leprechaun ]

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